Introduction
Last week, we looked at how Paul responded to the misunderstandings of him by the Corinthian church and how we can respond when we are misunderstood. This is week four of our thirteen-week series where we will read about Paul’s instructions regarding the restoration of a repentant member of the Corinthian church.
Read 2 Corinthians 2:5-11
2 Corinthians 2:5-11 New International Version (NIV)
Forgiveness for the Offender
5 “If anyone has caused grief, he has not so much grieved me as he has grieved all of you to some extent—not to put it too severely. 6 The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient. 7 Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. 8 I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him. 9 Another reason I wrote you was to see if you would stand the test and be obedient in everything. 10 Anyone you forgive, I also forgive. And what I have forgiven—if there was anything to forgive—I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, 11 so that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.”
Message
Introduction
As Christ followers, we are sometimes faced with the following questions when it comes to forgiveness and restoration:
- How can I forgive someone if they are not sorry for what they have done?
- Does the offending person have to ask for forgiveness or be repentant before forgiveness and restoration?
- Can I forgive/restore someone without forgetting what they have done?
But first, let’s look at the scripture verses and try to understand what Paul was writing about to the Corinthian church regarding forgiveness and restoration.
In a nutshell, Paul is encouraging the church to restore a member who had been disciplined (most likely told to leave the church – i.e. excommunicated) and was repentant. The reason for the discipline is not mentioned and is unimportant to the main point of Paul’s instruction. In fact, Paul is telling the church to be obedient in restoring the offending person based on that person’s repentance.
Three reasons for forgiveness and restoration are mentioned in the verses.
1. Verse 7 – “….you ought to forgive and comfort him so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow.
2. Verse 8 – “Another reason I wrote you was to see if you would stand the test and be obedient in everything.”
3. Verses 10 and 11 – “Anyone you forgive, I also forgive. And what I have forgiven—if there was anything to forgive—I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, 11 in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.”
Think of this way. What do we think would happen to that person if he was overwhelmed by his sorrow and not restored to the fellowship of the church? Which direction would his life most likely take?
And what do you think would take place among the church members regarding satan’s schemes? Would there be a division within the church with some siding with restoring the repentant person and others taking the position of not accepting him back into the church? So, who would benefit from that division? The schemer himself!
At West Shore, we have not been faced with disciplining anyone. But, if we were to ever be faced with it, we would follow the procedure and authority for a church to practice church discipline found in Matthew 18:15-20.
Jesus instructs us that one individual (usually the offended party) is to go to the offending individual privately. If the offender refuses to acknowledge his sin and repent, then two or three others go to confirm the details of the situation. If there is still no repentance—the offender remains firmly attached to his sin, despite two chances to repent—the matter is taken before the church. The offender then has a third chance to repent and forsake his sinful behavior. If at any point in the process of church discipline, the sinner heeds the call to repent, then “you have gained your brother.” (Verse 15) However, if the discipline continues all the way through the third step without a positive response from the offender, then, Jesus said, “let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.” (Verse 17)
Concluding Remarks and Application
We often think to ourselves, “I can’t forgive someone who won’t apologize.” “Forgive? Don’t you know what they did to me?” Or “How can I forget what they did?” These are legitimate questions that we all struggle with. What should we do in these situations? Do we have to forgive the other person even if they fail to repent?
Yes. Forgiveness is not reconciliation or reuniting with that person. Reconciliation takes two parties to agree and come together. Forgiveness is an act of faith which is not necessarily forgetting. Here are three things to remember about forgiveness and why it is always necessary.
1. Forgiveness is necessary because we are sinners in need of grace.
Many places in Scripture point out that we are called to forgive as God has forgiven us (Ephesians 4:32,Colossians 3:13). We are to forgive a brother’s offense seventy times seven (Matthew 18:21-22). We are often called to speak to our Christian brothers and sisters to reconcile offenses, even taking it to the church when they don’t (Matthew 18:15). When a Christian fails to repent, the authenticity of their faith is put into question. This is how serious forgiveness and reconciliation are to God, but why is it necessary to forgive when they fail to repent?
First, recognizing our own sinfulness and pride is key. We are called to look at the plank of sin in our own eyes before we call out the speck that exists in the person who offends us (Matt. 7:3-5) We all have fallen short of God’s standard and need mercy just like everyone else (Rom. 3:23).
Second, we cannot demand that God forgive us and fail to forgive others. When dealing with this very issue, Jesus recounted a parable of the wicked servant describing how he was forgiven a great debt by his master. When it came to forgiving a fellow servant, he was impatient and severely judged him. Upon hearing what happened, the master threw this servant into a far more severe punishment because the servant had been unmerciful (Matt. 18:23-35Matthew 18:23-35). Likewise, the Lord’s Prayer teaches us that if we are forgiven, forgiveness will be a byproduct of our faith (Matthew 6:12).
Third, forgiveness must be freely offered because we have been freely forgiven by God (Ephesians 4:32; Matthew 6:12, 4-15). The grace and mercy we have received should cause us to have mercy on those around us. When we learn to meditate on the gospel regularly, we see how much God forgives us before we even ask. Our very repentance needs repenting of. Our tears and acts of repentance are contaminated by false motivations and pride.
God forgives us for things we fail even to recognize as faults. The Psalmist himself cried out “If you, O Lord, should mark iniquities, O Lord, who could stand?” (Psalm 130:3; Psalm 76:7). The answer is “no one.” If God were to hold us to the standard of full repentance for our inborn and actual sins, we would never come to God. And yet as we see, the Lord is overflowing with forgiveness and compassion for us. The Lord sent his Son to die for us while we were enemies and while we could not offer repentance (Romans 5:6). His goodness overcame our evil, unmerciful hearts.
- Forgiveness is remembering the offense differently, not forgetting.
Sin always leaves its mark. We even may be physically maimed by a sin committed against us. How can we forgive in such cases? Well, forgiveness is often confused with forgetting the offense. Forgetting a sin committed against us is not always possible; however, resentment, bitterness, or holding a grudge is never okay. It destroys and imprisons us to our pride, which seeks to exact vengeance on that person as the unmerciful servant did.
Holding bitterness in our hearts imprisons us by trying to control that life situation. We cannot move on when we hold a grudge. We often see ourselves as an omnipotent judge who needs to exact a blood sacrifice, again and again, to be appeased. We need to make sure, after all, that they know how much they hurt us. Holding onto strife, though, leads us into a self-destructive lifestyle. Forgiveness, on the other hand, sets us free. Forgiveness is an on-going act of love that requires a lot of work. It is a daily battle. It may take years to finally put down the offense.
To be like Christ we are to forgive, and that is because forgiveness means remembering the offense differently. This forgiveness does not mean we are condoning the action, nor does not mean we must forget what happened. “Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember.
Only when we begin to see the other person with compassion can we decide to move on and no longer be trapped by our own pride and desires for vengeance or the fear of what others might think. Vanity and pride can be set aside. Forgiveness no longer identifies us with the wrongs that have happened. We can let go of the resentment that those actions bring. We can forgive the parent who wasn’t there. We can forgive the abusive spouse or rebellious teenage son. We are freed from the fear that blinds us and binds us in the prison-house of resentment. The good life we hope for, the life every sin seems to deny us, has been given freely by Christ. God has unconditionally loved us and set us aside for himself.
- Forgiveness is an act of faith, allowing God to have the last word.
We must constantly learn the hard lesson of letting God be God. We must set vengeance at his feet, knowing that he alone is holy enough to exact judgment. God will bring judgment to those who do not repent. We no longer need to worry about it. God will repay in his time and in his way. He is working all things for our good (Romans 8:28-29). We can have faith and leave it in his hands, knowing that his mercy and grace were given to us when we never deserved it. And who knows? Maybe God will use our compassion to bring others to faith or repentance.
We must offer forgiveness to everyone. It shouldn’t be confused with reconciliation, forgetting the offense, or even condoning the action. Rather, forgiveness is remembering the offender with compassion and repaying evil with good because of the gospel. Forgiveness is letting God be God, placing vengeance in his hands. God alone has the last word, and we can know that he will be both just and merciful. Everything will work out better than we could ever plan.